A lot of people swear that you should never pick your first tarot deck, it should be gifted to you. This is complete bullshit. I’ve gifted so many decks to people that ended up neglected and never used. Instead of waiting for the right time, here’s the best way to actually obtain a tarot deck.

Finding Your Tarot Deck

The best time to start looking for your tarot deck is when you feel drawn to it. Imagine this: you’re in a bookstore, hunting for a specific text but can’t find the section. Out of the corner of your eye, something catches your attention. A dark leather book sits with its cover facing you, metallic gold lettering glinting, but no identifiable title. You pause, curious. While you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, something about it feels like it might be what you’re searching for.

Then, your gaze lands on a small box that almost looks like a book. The spine reads “Tarot”. You aren’t well-versed in the subject, but it piques your curiosity. You pick up the box and read the back, absorbing the synopsis. If you didn’t leave with the deck that day, it’s likely that it will haunt you—the carefully worded description echoing in your mind until, one day, you find yourself in the same spot again. Somewhere new, something else catches your eye… and there it is: the tarot deck, in your hands. You wonder: Is today the right time? Is this the right deck? Am I doing this correctly?

Here’s the truth: if it doesn’t feel wrong, it’s right. Don’t mistake your intuition for doubt. Intuition isn’t comfortable—it’s gut-wrenching, heart-bending, ear-ringing, breathtaking.

Once your higher self starts demanding attention, you can ignore it—or explore it. Since you’re here, we’ll assume the latter. You’re using tarot as a spiritual survival tool, and now it’s time to choose your deck.

If this is your first deck, I recommend picking one that comes with a full companion book—it gives more description, letting your mind wander and your intuition grow. Beyond that, there are a few key things to consider when selecting a deck:

Masculine / Feminine Energy

Something often overlooked when choosing a tarot deck is the energy it carries—masculine versus feminine—and what resonates with you. The difference lies in direct versus indirect influence, much like the sun and the moon. The Sun shines outward, hot and direct, shaping the world with daylight. The Moon reflects that light softly, illuminating indirectly and revealing subtler truths.

Masculine decks are direct. They can feel cold or calculating, offering no flowery idioms, emotional coddling, or gentle advice. When you read from a masculine deck, the answers are straightforward, and your intuition picks up on the serious energy behind them. These decks command authority—they’re not looking to be your favorite, they’re looking to be your most critically considered.

Feminine decks hold an air of mystery. They leave room for interpretation, suggesting rather than declaring truths. These decks allow your mind to wander and reflect. Companion books for feminine decks often present harsh realities alongside lessons or experiences to soften the blow. They are approachable, non-confrontational, and easy to work with.

Some Decks Will Not Agree With You

It’s true: some decks just won’t resonate. Over the past year, I’ve worked with several decks and found that certain ones speak to me more deeply than others. My daily read deck is The Steampunk Tarot by Barbara Moore—I’ve read it every day for over a year, sometimes multiple times a day. I know it so well that even if I forget a definition, I can visualize the card in my mind to recall it.

Other decks fall short—they may feel too soft or too harsh. If I purchase a deck that doesn’t connect, I won’t use it often. Rather than letting it collect dust, I gift it to someone who shows curiosity or could benefit from guidance.

Just like people, decks have personalities. Some focus on negativity, highlighting every potential conflict, while others emphasize opportunities and positivity. Both have value, but I personally gravitate toward decks that help me see possibility rather than paranoia.

If a deck doesn’t resonate with you, consider giving it to someone who could use a compass in life—someone you care about, a friend or acquaintance struggling with depression or unhappiness. Someday, they may thank you.